Marilyn Cieszykowski's Page

Backpacking Again!

2008-10-20T11:04:00.005-06:00

This past weekend we joined friends from Osprey and their spouses on a 16 mile loop trek through Fish and Owl canyons in SE Utah. One year ago this would have run of the mill - hardly extraordinary. My memory of Owl canyon was that it is, as canyons go, relatively simple to descend. In fact, a few years ago, Mar and I did a day hike down to Neville's Arch and back - 9 miles of relatively straightforward canyon trekking.

Hardly the case this time. First we did everything we could to maximize the ease of the trip. Marilyn carried a small pack with less than 18 lbs. in it, while I carried the rest of our combined gear. The descent into Owl involves some steep slickrock, rockhopping, and steep and loose sandy hillsides. It soon became apparent to both of us how different this all has become. Every step for Marilyn requires careful and deliberate placement. Progress was slow and arduous. We carried her pack for part of the descent to make things easier. In the end, that first day was right on the edge of what her current abilities are. We had only made it in about 3.5 miles over the course of 6 hours and we seriously considered not continuing the trip with the group.

However, Marilyn was fairly adament in her desire to keep going. The second day was relatively straightforward, hiking on a sandy trail and in rocky and sandy washes. The last day involved a steep climb up slickrock, sand and rocks, culminating in a 15 foot crack climb out of Fish canyon. All handled superbly and without the frustration and slowness of the first day. So - things keep improving and I think we can both say that we are grateful.

Pikes Peak Challenge

2008-09-07T21:11:00.006-06:00

13 miles, 7400' elevation gain, 9 hours. 11 months post injury.

Thanks to all who donated. We raised $2,560 for the Colorado Brain Injury Association!!

Determination

2008-09-03T11:29:00.002-06:00

the quality of being resolute; firmness of purpose.

On Labor Day we hiked about 10.5 miles total on a local trail. About halfway into the hike I noticed that besides the hiking pole in her right hand, Marilyn was carrying a large tree branch in her left hand. I asked her whether we should have brought two hiking poles. She replied that she wasn't trying to use the branch as a hiking pole but rather as a way to help her strengthen her grip and control the general spasticity of her left arm. Later in the hike, we had a tricky stream crossing. Marilyn slipped and banged her shin hard on a rock. With wet feet and a bruised shin she asked if we could hike one mile further in. (This after 5 miles of hiking). We eventually finished the hike and drove back home at which time she decided it would be a good time to try riding her cruiser bike again. With helmet on she pedaled up and down the street - no problem. Determination.

A False Summit

2008-07-05T10:27:00.002-06:00

Gareth and I, in Denver this weekend, were able to actually reach the summit of the 14er Mt. Sherman. It was challenging but for me a huge huge physical accomplishment - Pike's Peak down the road -more blog later - I realized my experience with the bike accident is similar to false summits - you think your getting to the peak - as I did think literally and figuratively before this accident - I was nearing the top of my life game - only to find after a random bike accident, there was more and more uphill to go - and that is when, at the false summit, you have to make the conscious decision to go for it up or go down without tagging the summit - I am going through this to get to my summit -figuratively - as I did yesterday, literally. I'll write about the Craig Hospital visits later... Marimule.

Interesting that we celebrate "Independence Day" and this year my lack of Independence is so overwhelmingly difficult, and so prominent in my daily life that next year, I will treasure being independent on 4th of July, nothing to do with how the historical first Americans took land/life/homes from Indians to gain freedom from the Brits!

If you have 10 dollars you can donate to our team for the Pike Peak Challenge please do, more medical/public awareness of these injuries need to happen...nothing for my expenses but for my cause...

Pikes Peak Challenge

Prayer Flag

2008-06-27T16:38:00.002-06:00

Connie George, Sponsorship and Climb Coordinator for the Breast Cancer Fund, donated a prayer flag honoring Marilyn's recovery. This flag was carried to the summit of Mt. Shasta by guide, Cathy Ann Taylor on June 18, 2008 as she led 33 breast cancer survivors and supporters on the Breast Cancer Fund's Climb Against the Odds mountain expedition. We are amazed and honored that in the midst of battling this public health crisis, our friends at the BCF took the time to think of us...

Please support their efforts:

http://www.breastcancerfund.org

A Life Prayer

2008-06-23T13:29:00.002-06:00

It has been too long and anyone reading still - thank you. Well, as expected, my life keeps on swirling with new unanticipated events - 2 weeks ago a severe downside where negative things in my personality showed up - in a survivor mechanism disguise - I want to, but can't blame head injury on these things... thanks to some supportive friends, I am getting through this by ceasing the negative aspects... except poor Gareth is being overwhelmed by my depression that past monsters made the unwelcome return and were brought to my attention and, even though gone now, they stirred up concerns and increased my paranoia immensely - now it feels like anyone can be out to get me. The phrase "adding insult to injury" has taken on a new meaning - I managed injury by breaking my neck, C2 and C7, and occluded arteries that supply my brain with O2, and paralyzed my left side, I managed to cover the injury with one that is absolutely the worst experience - no awful life ending illness but a life sparing hell - a life of torture that doesn't seem to be ending - and recent events have added insult after insult to the injury - Compassion - it is challenging in this day and age - but giving compassion comes back to you. My apology and my favorite - yes high school, love poem from a book called Life prayers to my love

I will fight this and my life will be strong again.
Gareth:

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.

I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.

I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
for putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can't help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.

I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.

I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good,
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.

You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being my best friend means,
After all.

- R. Croft

Thank you my love...
M

Pikes Peak Challenge

2008-06-02T10:07:00.003-06:00

Marilyn and I will be participating in the Pikes Peak Challenge Hike For Brain Injury Awareness on Saturday, September 6, 2008. We will be hiking Barr Trail on 14,110 foot Pikes Peak. When we finish, we will have hiked 13 miles and 7,400 vertical feet to the summit to join other hikers and supporters in celebration of brain injury awareness and prevention.

In the United States a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) occurs every 15 seconds. Based on national estimates, there are more annual incidences of Traumatic Brain Injuries than Multiple Sclerosis, Spinal Cord Injuries, HIV/AIDS and Breast Cancer put together. It is estimated that 17.8% of our American Soldiers are returning home with a TBI.

In this country there are 3 million persons living with breast cancer and public spending is $295 per person, 900,000 persons living with HIV/AIDS and public spending is $18,111 per person but there are 5.3 million persons living with disability from TBI and public spending is $2.55 per person! Research into treatment of TBI receives less than one penny of every Federal dollar spent on medical research.

If you would like to support our endeavors to make a difference, you can donate directly to us online at https://www.pikespeakchallenge.com/donation.asp?HikerID=24. This is a special event of the Brain Injury Association of Colorado and may print a tax deductible receipt for your donation. All proceeds go to the BAI of Colorado.

You can also join us on the hike by registering at https://www.pikespeakchallenge.com/register.asp

Our team name is fittingly 'MariMules'.

Living after you Die

2008-05-19T08:55:00.005-06:00

Marilyn hasn't written on the blog in quite a long time. Not because she is recovered but she is so busy recovering. I don't write as often. Not because she is recovered but because I am so busy learning how to keep things going in our new life.

That gets exhausting. This week we are taking a break. And the first opportunity that break has allowed is the chance to mourn. Here is what Marilyn told me this morning.
"I realize more and more each day that the person I was is gone. So many people tell me you didn't die and look at how you are getting better. But the Marilyn before all this is gone. No matter what I do I can't get her back. And I miss her."

I miss her too. And that truth - stated by her - has lurked and crept around us in the shadows for the past seven months. Without her uttering those words, we would never cut through the "recovery stuff" - PT, OT, ST, psychotherapy, acupuncture, medications, MRI's, CT scans and face it.

That f**ing accident took so much from us that day - many plans, many dreams. And it ended a life. Sometimes you have to take a break from learning to accept the new and mourn the loss.

I Am

2008-05-12T23:05:00.002-06:00

" I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become." - Carl Jung

Long Time, No Blog

2008-04-22T06:33:00.004-06:00

I realized today that it has been almost a month since we last posted. There are many reasons for this, some good, some bad. No time wasted here on spinning either side of the coin - here is where April 22 finds us. Since our initial foray into the desert we've had two more canyon adventures. This past weekend we camped out again and hiked nearly five miles round trip. Marilyn's walking is becoming more and more solid - a week ago she even walked the entire "beanfield" (in mud and snow) above town. Her cognition and speech becomes clearer and more concise each and every day. I have no doubt that she will not only be able to work as a Nurse Practitioner again, she will be able to excel and increase her knowledge base with the passion she did before. Demonstrated by her success at whipping through online CME's (Continuing Medical Education). In the weeks since our first return to Craig hospital, which also coincided with her 37th birthday her progress has been solid and strong. Not coincidentally, she started acupuncture again and in my observations this has been one of Marilyn's most important and effective treatments throughout her recovery.

Last week we returned to Denver for an eye follow-up and some testing and follow-up with the neurologist who followed her from very early on in her injury. All positive news with her eyes slowly getting better, though double vision still plagues her and her neurological recovery continuing strongly. However, we've realized that these trips are very cathartic for us both. Not only do they mark progress, they lead us to confront the depth and gravity of what has happened. Marilyn's path to recovery, though always positive in prognosis, has been shrouded by clouds that only clear with time. Each visit has pushed the clouds back a bit more and we learn more about what to ultimately expect when all this is "over". It's far from all good.

Note the quotes - it's never over. And that is some heavy shit to assimilate. In aid of that, our personal spiritual quests and need to draw on pure faith has become an integral part of this process.

For both of us, another corner has been reached. The transition from patient to post-recovery. Returning to work, leaving therapy behind. Not being stamped as the girl who had the horrible accident. Me not being stamped as the partner of.... And to a degree, it is happening. I'm looking forward to the day when we strike up a conversation with someone who has no idea this happened. Sympathetic looks, while well intentioned sometimes only salt the wound. The inevitable double edged sword. Incredible community support means that few in the community don't know about this. And let's face it. This blog is the most public of forums. But if this can be a tool for people who might have to or are facing this type of situation, then it is worth it. If this can be a tool for others to better discover their inner paths, I'm glad. If all it did was keep Marilyn's family and friends appraised of her status, thus easing their concern and grief - success!

We're only halfway there. The next six months will be the hardest of all as she exits the support system of therapy and rehabilitation and we try and gain some semblance of our old lives back. The promise of either of our lives getting easier and not having to work as hard once we reached this point, has turned out to be an illusion. So it goes - the ramp steepens and we'll each run twice as fast to keep pace. I say "each" only to underline the fact that we each have very different jobs to do. At least we're doing it together!!

When it's all put into perspective, Marilyn is very, very fortunate (note that I didn't write "lucky") to be where she is today given the extent of her injuries. I'll take that today. But if I had the choice of fast forwarding six months or even better, rewinding six months - I'd take it in an instant.

Healing and Hanging in the Desert...

2008-03-25T11:16:00.006-06:00

This Easter weekend we journeyed to the desert for our first camping trip since the accident. We packed up our gear and the dogs and headed out to the edge of Cedar Mesa in SE Utah. Our expectation - and our expectations are few these days - was to hang at camp and take some short strolls across easy slick rock or down a dirt road.

As it happens, a fellow desert rat gifted us with a rough map that depicted a hidden pictograph panel beneath the rim of the mesa. For those of you not familiar with the area, it was once inhabited by ancient peoples, 900-1200 years ago. Among other things, they left behind cliff dwellings, pottery shards and pictographs - drawings on the rock. Appropriately - this panel depicted birthing and Marilyn's hike and scramble to get there was just that - a rebirth of what she used to do and what we were so afraid that she had lost.

A link to that trip is here.
Click 'Start Slideshow' for the full effect with groovy music.

Longer desert treks and mountain peaks can't be far behind...

You can talk to Buddha and listen to his casual reply

2008-03-24T08:59:00.002-06:00

If you know me, you know my living in Colorado is no random place, like where I happened to be born, but intentional because of its beauty and my love of the mountains. Gareth grew up here, but it has been his self-found love of these same things, with a greater intensity, that he possesses as a result. I have a level of respect for the mountains that is lost to him in his intensity of love for them (i.e. I couldn't climb or ski the peaks like he does). But I have claimed an intensity of love of the "products" (facial toners, moisturizers and cleansers that are too expensive for me to buy nowadays) which is greater than his, but then again, he is a boy! (Product girls, you know who you are and can relate, now imagine of you woke up with no product, no income and a super-great BOY telling you he will get whatever you need and your 1 oz. facial lotion is only available fifty miles away and costs fifty bucks... try justifying that over the local cheap"Dove" products... product girls, you know what I'm talking about! I hope you don't know but you can imagine the horror!)
So we had a long overdue camp trip to the Southeast Utah dessert over the weekend and it was much -needed by our psyches. We car- camped in the "Westy" and brought our doggies along. I slept great and I did walk with my love Gareth on a hiking trail that went down to the level below us so we could see petroglyphs and I can say for sure that I have not lost my love of hiking or of camping or of the outdoors! Being so immersed in such beauty helps a person forget the terrible things (like my physical challenges, though the trail reminded me) that may be going on around them. My mind finds these things so much more beautiful than I have ever thought and every camp trip I go on will be that much more appreciated as a result. Colorado is where I can be found, thankfully!

Ignorance is Bliss

2008-03-18T17:47:00.002-06:00

Well I had a bummer of a day yesterday, which, given what I have been through, seems more like it should be the type of day I have regularly and not as rare as bummer days have been coming. Yesterday's bummer began with intense frustration I was having with the left side. Who knew a person could actually develop dislike and anger at their own leg and arm? I have had hundreds of patients dealing with limb pain and never had one tell me they were pissed off at the affected limb but yesterday saw me being the one who was literally upset at my left leg and arm for being so uncooperative and for not doing what I was asking my them to do. They are still misbehaving but the new day has brought me a reality check that my left leg and arm are part of me and they are slowly in the process of recovery.
My PT in Cortez had to deal with the temper tantrum that I threw at the left side yesterday and pointed out part of my frustration is actually my mental awareness taking hold and that there was a time when my left side was weaker and less coordinated but I didn't get so mad at it because my awareness was so limited that I didn't seem to care like I do now. "Ignorance is bliss" was how he described my mindset and the bliss was what got me through those tougher days at the hospital. Now I have to accept improvements do NOT happen daily like they used to. Recovery is slower and less rewarding now but fortunately the ignorance is gone and mental awareness is improving. I plan on spending some time sharpening my medical brain by hanging out at the clinic I used to work and earn a living at but now I will just be doing some CMEs (Continuing Medial Education unit) and helping when needed, like front office stuff. I think that just hanging out will lead to my ability to return to my job and I will not do that until I feel that I can do a safe and effective job because I refuse to put anyone's life/health at risk.

How is She Doing?

2008-03-07T07:27:00.003-07:00

Reading through past posts, I realize that sometimes we don't do a good job of simply stating how Marilyn is doing. So here it is. We are five months out from her injury and by all accounts - medical and therapuetic - she is doing well. The main challenge in our first five weeks home was the lack of expert neurological monitoring. We had to go a bit on faith that she was improving. So on our return to Craig last week, it was great to hear both her nuero docs and the neuropsychologist reiterate that Marilyn was doing very well and would continue to do very well.

Her left side continues to strengthen and become less clumsy. As the snow melts out here in Dolores, we are hopeful that she can begin to walk around town without having to depend on someone to walk with her. She still has double vision and this remains the main obstacle to complete independence. Without her vision resolved, she cannot drive, steps and uneven ground are harder to negotiate and vision in dim light or darkness is very difficult.

To this end, we are continuing with prism glasses and aggressive therapy to resolve the eye issue. The other end of the equation is suppression - which will happen anyway, so we figure out why not try the new in the event that it works.

From the outside looking in, I see Marilyn becoming sharper every single day. That's the best way I can describe it. We're certainly not at a point where I forget she is injured, (although I really look forward to that day) but it is at least becoming more and more background. And that allows me to hand her more and more of her life back, which will be the subject of my next post....

"...Your Own Reason and Your Own Common Sense."

2008-03-04T14:39:00.004-07:00

"Believe Nothing, No Matter Where You Have Read It Or Who Has Said It, Not Even If I Have Said It, Unless It Agrees With..." This is another refrigerator magnet quote, this one from Buddha which, given my new re-found reasons and new re-found common sense, has resulted in some new found beliefs. I got back from yet another trip to Denver for some follow up care. In all honesty, I was not looking forward to it in the slightest because I believed it was a just another big reminder of the fateful bike accident that brought me to Craig Hospital in Denver in the first place. But, like Buddha said, my own common sense was being being tested and the dreadful thoughts were of different outcome. It was actually comforting to see the therapists who cared for me when I was hospitalized. What took me by unpleasant surprise was the overwhelmingly obvious fact that Craig didn't close its doors when I was discharged but the hospital continues admitting new brain injured patients. The very horrifying reality that brain injuries do happen in such massive frequencies and quantities was what hit me hard. Knowing now from my personal experience that their lives will be indescribably changed forever after a TBI was what saddened me and brought me to tears.
My second common sense check was my 37th birthday, my first birthday (but not last) since the accident. I did have a wonderful time with Gareth, and ended the day with the belief that I dodged a deathday to get to celebrate a birthday. I do not consider myself lucky that I didn't die or end up in a wheelchair, that would make death and spinal cord injuries unlucky, and they are truths that we have in the world and if you think you are lucky because you didn't spend today in a wheelchair then you obviously have too much time on your hands. I am lucky that I can use my left arm to drink a beverage and that I am working on walking, and it is the presence of these actions, not the absence of an action, like death, that I am working hard every day to achieve. The bike accident and its results can't be changed, but my actions to improve myself can make the future brighter for me and Gareth so I will continue daily to push for that belief.

Life at Home

2008-02-19T12:38:00.002-07:00

It is hard to believe that we are into our fourth week back in Dolores. The first week was challenging, with the glaring reality that life was going to be much different from how it was when we walked out the door last fall. Desire loomed large with sharp memories of our previous lives all around us. Since returning, we've both expressed the desire to go to sleep and then wake up in the morning with the day ahead only offering the challenge of our respective jobs as opposed to the overbearing focus on recovery. But, slowly we’ve adjusted with many thanks for so much help from our friends. And since our expectations of life upon return were low – scratch that – non-existent, each day often brings an unexpected treat. Soaking in a hot spring, walking around town amongst sky high piles of snow and ice, braving a visit to the pub, Marilyn dragged out of the rec center after four hours of workout, and even a handful of ski days for me are a few. Time and therapy are our allies and enemies now, patience our peacemaker. Faith brightens and brings the horizon closer.

"If you`re going through hell, keep going"

2008-02-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

I hope everyone knows we made it home (to Dolores) about 2 weeks ago. I want everyone (including Gareth) to know that Gareth has been my inspiration to continue to put forth the efforts that are clearly required for me to resume my life as it once was and will be again someday, so I thank, love, and admire you Gareth. I continue to pray (to Buddha) our future will be an improvement over the present, which is a hell and a challenge on many fronts. We will keep going through this hell until we have made it through, Gareth, just you keep believing, because I see that we will be a stronger, more resilient couple when we have survived this....(blog title and reference is a Winston Churchill quote on a greeting card that I came across while going through the myriad of my belongings when I got home; it is now posted on our refrigerator and seems to fit the situation). My thanks to the Osprey Corp for my "Gareth time" -we both have learned his value, which Osprey has finally reclaimed now that we have made it home! Hoping my patients will get to claim me back soon too!

The single most challenging aspect of being home is that the last time I was here, I had nothing physically wrong with me. The reminders of my life as it was prior to the bike accident are just everywhere. The snow, however, is not a reminder and does not bring back any memories of life in Dolores (this is more snow than I have ever seen here, yeah skiers!) I am also struggling with my inability to do things in a timely fashion (but I am getting a bit quicker, though still a bit sloppy, not a new feature but one that has been magnified by the injury and is definitely a challenge for Gareth to keep up with!) The list of my little physical deficits could go on but I will spare everyone and not list them here.

However, being home has its positive sides: my own bed and belongings; the doggies; the wonderful friends who have given up their free time to drive me to Cortez to get to therapy; my physical, occupational, and speech therapists; no more "hospital" dinners and frequent "whenever needed" espressos! The sheer amount of occupational therapies we all do daily is amazing and forcing me to keep getting better at doing the littlest things. Keep praying that my left side and my vision strengthen and I will see you all as soon as I can (let's hope I only see one of you and not two, which is the double vision rearing its ugly head)...marilyn

To Begin Again

2008-01-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

The title of a nice tune by an old friend. There is another old tune he covered called "A House is Not a Home". Such was the feeling on my two initial trips back to Dolores. The first, a week before Christmas, gave me the chance to reground myself at work. Each night I would come home to a house, so well taken care of by friends in our absence but still woefully vacant with remnants of our vacation departure scattered about. Marilyn's silent belongings, untouched and unmoved by her in so long pondered the fine line between a box in the attic and the hand of their owner.

The second trip followed Marilyn's discharge from inpatient and transition to outpatient at Craig. My parent's home allowed her a "soft launch" into the real world as she refined her healing with yet another team of superb therapists. This time the dogs came back and we roamed the house as a trio, unsettled and incomplete.

At last we are all here and the house is becoming a home again. Marilyn has "settled in" with a vengeance. On her first day home she tore apart bookshelves, delved deeply into her "very-hard-to-walk-in" closet, took a shower, made lunch, played with the dogs, threw on her Sorels and walked to the end of the block and finally went to bed at 11pm. All this from someone who by all TBI professional accounts should have been overwhelmed and exhausted by the return home.

There are many times that the weight of all that has happened and all that lies ahead threatens to crush me. More often than not that is when Marilyn rescues me. She tells me she is eager to see everyone again, she will dance again, she will see single vision again, her mind and wit will be sharp as a diamond again, she will return to her patients again, she will hike for miles again and stand atop a high peak smiling (after insisting that she could never make it) - again. I don't mind waiting.

Homeward Bound!

2008-01-25T09:48:00.000-07:00

We will be in Dolores in just over 24 hours. Everyone who has worked with me at Craig Hospital has been telling me to be careful because being immersed in the home environment can be exhausting, but I am happy to go back home.

My P.T. gave me the go ahead to do some walking around town, so let's take walks to work on my walking endurance (no doggies yet cause they could pull or trip me). I will need a walking partner and I will be needing car rides to Cortez for my PT, OT and ST so that would be great! Trust me in saying that the last thing I want is to get in another accident so let's be careful! I am off to Dolores tomorrow morning so hopefully I will get to see the locals soon and I can't wait to see Gareth here in Denver tonight and the doggies tomorrow!

A note about my energy level. It abandons me right now with little notice so if I take a nap in the middle of you telling me something that is not your speech content it is my injury.

Bye!

OUTPATIENT POSITIVITY

2008-01-18T17:57:00.000-07:00

I am writing after my first week as an outpatient. I will start off saying that there are improvements but it will be a long tough battle for me: re-learning to hold a cup (with my left hand); not dribbling when I drink; brushing my teeth or hair (with my left hand because I am left handed). Imagine if you lost all muscle use of a leg and someone tells you to stand. That is when you realize how much muscle you do use when you stand and it is gone and has to be re-worked so you can stand correctly! So every day these little occupational therapies happen spontaneously now (with no occupational therapist) and I must count the little things I improved and learned as success. You all do these things hundreds of times and do not give them a second thought (don't start thinking your tiny activities are such big successes now unless you are me ok?) Anyway, I am not in the hospital and I am getting better slowly. (Positive thought as encouraged by my shrink and easy to do because it is true!)

Craig Hospital discharge

2008-01-12T16:01:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone!

I am staying with Gareth's parents in Golden, Colo since being discharged which is really cool of them since he will be home in Dolores during the week. I guess the info I got from my attending this week regarding how discharge can make the patients very tired held true for me as I was exhausted and tired (They refer to this change as a "reintegration into society" -uh oh, you all have been warned of my "reintegration").

As for the discharge: my therapists are all as dedicated as I could want and my eyes are being treated for the double vision with rotation (pray for that) and my lack of ability to produce the neurochemical Serotonin is being treated with low dose antidepressant which has ceased my inappropriate laughing (emotional lability) but can not put a stop to the appropriate laughing.

My medical knowledge of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) has taken a leap since I have been considered a "severe" TBI -patient and now I am hoping that this experience will influence my future in medicine somewhat - look out patients because I am being influenced by this experience. See you soon Doloreans but keep in mind how tired I may be!

Brain Therapy

2008-01-07T19:32:00.001-07:00

Looks like I will be discharged from inpatient tomorrow but will stay here for rehab for the next 2 1/2 weeks for the quality of rehab here at Craig. I am so happy though not to have to spend my days as an inpatient but I still have a great deal of recovering to do on the outside. I am looking forward to getting back to Dolores and recovering at my own pace.
Melissa, a college friend, just visited during the exams my therapists administered to evaluate my progress and to make recommendations for my future therapists, and thank God she was here to verify the difficulty of the speech therapy I am taking to keep my brain sharp. I am thankful to have that quality of brain sharpening and hope it can keep the brain continuing to rehabilitate as the left side of my body is.
Looks like I will comtinue the neuro-psych counseling at home too as the psych stuff grabs me and the frustration is difficult for me to figure out but essential to my getting through this difficult situation and an important part of my recovery. Thank God Melissa and Gareth confirm that my personality is still fully present since I feel the smartass in me is still fully present and as charming as ever!!

Collar Free

2008-01-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

Marilyn has finally got rid of her C-collar! Accordingly, she passed it on to her dog.

2008

2008-01-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

It has to improve as a year - over any year or experience ever in my
life - this is the worst possible thing for anyone to go through and I do not wish it on anyone ever - so I hope everyone will appreciate their existence this year and if anything comes out of my experience, I want that to be it. Happy 2008 everyone!

Pieces of Memory

2008-01-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

"I wish I could take the memory that I have in my brain and put it in your brain and compare it to yours so I could see if they match."

- Marilyn trying to piece together events days before her accident.
New Years Eve 2007

Vision

2007-12-27T16:39:00.001-07:00

Hello. My vision has been off since the accident, I am seeing double and my left eye also rotates one of the images. Seeing the eye doc who is placing the blame on my 3rd and 4th cranial nerve - and he will make me a left eyeglass prism that may help my extraocular muscle retrain to not rotate. I have also been somewhat self critical and my shrink told me that is quite common for brain injured patients to get self-critical so he advised me to "TEFLON-IZE" MYSELF - to get tougher during the challenging recovery. Those reading who know me well know what a self critic I am so this is a challenging time for me and my therapists are finding out the hard way! Take care and happy 2008! Marilyn

Wisdom

2007-12-25T16:45:00.000-07:00

Merry Xmas! Just watched Bob Marley documentary -(thanks Sarah!) it was very good and I am inspired to read his biography again. Dealing with the moods that go with brain injury : cranky, frustrated; also trying to come up with a good plan for when I am discharged which is in 2 weeks.
"You give your more
To receive your less." Bob Marley

Marilyn

Impatient Inpatient Twilight

2007-12-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

We are nearing the end of Marilyn's inpatient stay at Craig. The latest date we have heard pushes her discharge back a bit and is now January 8. There are dozens of goals for the next 2 weeks, with the obvious and biggest goal being to leave the wheelchair behind. Today Marilyn spent most of the day doing just that - walking to all her classes and therapy sessions. Our vision of her being back in Dolores soon is fading as we are beginning to realize that her outpatient therapy needs (at least in the short term) would be best served by doing them right here at Craig. So - we have much to figure out in the days and weeks to come. As always the doctors, therapists and staff here are extremely helpful and we feel whatever the decision reached, it will be a sound one.

Pictures from Ecuador

2007-12-15T16:19:00.001-07:00

As many of you know, Marlyn has had no recollection of our short trip to Ecuador. In fact, she has had no recollection of ever planning the trip, let alone going there. The closest memory preceding her accident that we could trace was putting gear in our newly built shed two nights before we left.

Yesterday, I finally got around to showing Marilyn the few pictures we took in Ecuador. At first they were nothing but pictures to her. Then suddenly, a trigger. There was a picture of a vary modern glass building in a park we had visited above the city of Quito. She remembered the building and then, more memories came flooding back.
As we looked at the pictures from Vilcabamba, where she was hurt, she recalled the place we stayed there - even the layout of the hotel grounds.

Of course, this is scary and encouraging, all in one. I hope she never remembers the accident but I am glad that she is piecing more and more things together leading up to it.

Psychologically Challenged

2007-12-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

I'm still here and living through the psychological challenges of having a brain injury: my left side not working and my brain being somewhat different in terms of its cognitive functioning lately. We have moved into a new room on the East side which gives us more freedom and responsibility and I am still working on relearning to walk and it is coming along still according to schedule. I did get upset earlier in the week because I was trying to fold my clean laundry and since my left side is so weak, I was not able to fold. That was really hard for me to get through and incredibly frustrating about this injury. We did have a team meeting and I was told these frustrations are part of recovery from my injury - my prognosis is that full recovery may be up to 2 years. we'll see. bye everyone!

Alison's Post

2007-12-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

I thought Alison's comment from the last post was so good that I have copied it over as a new post.

Gareth

Hi Mar and everyone, I just talked with Mar tonight who sounds great!! Mar, your voice is really sounding like yourself again. It's so cool! Mar was busy packing to move to Craig's East Wing tomorrow, which will give her a lot more privacy and freedom, and has a kitchenette. And Mar's new discharge date is Jan 4--this is moved up, so obviously the doctors see how fast Mar is improving--very exciting!! Mar was writing with her left hand, slowly but legibly, and walking and tackling stairs, with a little assistance. She and Gareth visited Gareth's parents, and with Gareth's help, Mar left her wheelchair in the car. They also went to a Broncos game, complete with Vandy quarterback Jay Cutler. As it turns out, one of Mar's doctors works with the Broncos, and will see if Jay can come visit Mar.

There's still a journey before us, but as the Beatles say, "It's getting better all the time"

Love, Alison

Counting..

2007-12-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

We've now reached 3 months since Marilyn's accident and are in week 5 at Craig hospital, with another 5 to go. Once we get back home there will be 3-4 months of outpatient therapy. We are both beginning to realize the subtleties of "full recovery". No doubt Marilyn will get back to work and be fully active again. But I know that I (and to a degree she) had the idea in the back of our heads that recovery meant it would be like this all never happened. Recovery means readjustment on all fronts - a new and very different life is unfolding before us. Marilyn has approached each day with an incredibly positive attitude and many smiles, rarely expressing frustration. She exists with calm and focus in the moment. Perhaps that is a blessed side effect of the injury. Regardless, it is what grounded me when I become flooded with too many 'what if's and how are 'we going to's. We press forward with happiness and determination. Each day is a better day.
Gareth

My Weekend

2007-12-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hello again! Since I last wrote I got a good and long night's sleep (and some much deserved and needed rest) only to wake up and start Physical Therapy where I walked up and down a staircase with my therapist and Gareth helping in preparation for the holidays when I hope to be doing that with only Gareth helping. I hope you are all getting prepared for the upcoming holidays as well as we are!
We`had a great weekend going to the museum on Saturday with Eric, Alison, Eddie (a 1 year old baby who I am trying to beat in our walking contest), Chris and Alex, then stopping on Sunday morning for breakfast at the IHop with Bill Hatcher, Chris and Alex before Gareth and I went to his parent's home in Golden for the Broncos game and to see the doggies!
I hope you can tell I am silly but not stupid. My brain may have been traumatized but it came out unaffected in terms of its intelligence!

I hope to see everyone soon! Bye y'all!
Marilyn

One month at Craig

2007-12-01T19:51:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night we went to an Italian restaurant near the hospital. It was really good and we went even though I'm still in a wheelchair. The night was cold. As it turned out it was kind of the night that started the weekend because on Thursday night, my friend from college Alison arrived with her husband Eric and their son Eddie who is only one year old. Eddie is one of the coolest babies we've hung out with. In a way he reminded me of myself because like Eddie, I am learning how to walk and use my left hand and left leg. In fact, I am relearning everything that I learned as a child. It was good to see Chuck and MB who visited on Friday. It was good hearing about Dolores happenings. Chuck and MB joked with us about how all their friends are younger. Chris and Alex were here today. We all went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science because Eric wanted to see the exhibit on Colorado rocks and minerals. We learned that aquamarine is found on Mount Antero. Alison, Eric and Eddie had to leave and it was hard to say goodbye but we stayed with Chris and Alex and had dinner at a local Thai restaurant. They told us all about their vacation. Tomorrow we are going to Golden and see our dogs and Gareth's parents and Jay Cutler. Next weekend we might go to a Bronco game with the hospital bus. Don't get stuck in the snow Dolores folks. Think of me when you ski! Take care,
Marilyn

Marilyn's update - 11/27/07

2007-11-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been learning the ins and outs of the therapy professions, including physical, speech and occupational. My schedule stays booked everyday with these therapies leaving me tired in the evening. I am still having trouble with the left side of my body but it is getting better. I am working on walking and that is rewarding. I hope in the next couple weeks I'll be thinking more clearly. The speech therapists are constantly testing my critical thinking skills. Gareth is here helping me with everything. Hopefully it will all pay off soon so we can make it back to Dolores and see everybody. I went to Gareth's parents house on Sunday and got to spend a day away from the hospital which was a good experience. It's been good to read about everybody's support and I appreciate that.

Love to you all,
Marilyn

A Day at Craig

2007-11-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

Every weekday at Craig offers a full schedule of therapies geared towards each patient's challenges and current abilities. Marilyn's head continues to "clear" and she is getting better and better at dealing with day to day routine. Additonally, her left side gets stronger every day. Here's an example of Marilyn's schedule this week.

7:30am - Wake up, order breakfast and eat.
8:30am - Occupational therapist arrives - pick clothes for the day (without forgetting every item you are supposed to wear and change into them despite a weak left side).
Wash face, comb hair, brush teeth.
9:00am - Propel wheel chair with feet to Orientation class. Review what day it is, read daily news articles, practice memory assignments.
9:30am - Go to Physical Therapy. Extensive mat exercises, balance ball workout, practice walking and left leg stability.
10:30 - Go to Occupational therapy - work on left arm and left hand strength, fine motor coordination.
11:00 - Wheel down to Speech Therapy office, practice visual recall, mental organization, memory retention.
11:30 - Lunch, practice eating with left hand.
1:00 - Pedal stationary bike.
1:30 - Work on jigsaw puzzle.
2:00- Mat class, yoga and stretches geared towards individuals current physical ability.
3:00 - Speech therapy, round 2.
3:30 - Meet with neuropsychologist.

When not in class or in therapy, Marilyn and I practice a lot. Today she sucessfully tried writing with her left (dominant) hand for the first time. We practiced eye exercises to help bring her left eye in line with the right. (She currently has double vision but glasses with tape over part of the lens of the left side alleviate this.) At dinner, we practice eating with her left hand. She constantly works out her left arm and today broke all records by lifting it and extending it fully above her head. Our conversations consistently integrate the skills we have both learned to help her organize her thinking and improve her short term memory.

As Marilyn continues to improve, the days will become more full and challenging and the therapy will continue to be adjusted to her increasing abilities. All toward the goal of bringing back the Marilyn that was before the accident.

2007-11-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

To EVERYONE that is a part of the big benefit music festival for Marilyn:

Hi! I hope you all have fun. Thanks for thinking of me. I'm trying to recover so I can dance with all of you next time.

Love,
Marilyn
(as transcribed by Gareth)

The BIG update

2007-11-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

Today we had our first conference with Marilyn's nurses, therapists and doctors. I wanted to give you all an overdue and a very thorough update on everything. First, Marilyn's current condition. Keep in mind this changes almost daily.

On the physical front she is regaining strength in her left leg. Her PT is rigorous in this area - building her core and walking mechanisms. Yesterday, she walked the parallel bars. With help but nevertheless she walked them - twice. She is particularly focused, diligent and driven on the PT front. The OT therapist is focusing on her left arm and left hand. Currently she can lift and move the arm slowly, open and close her hand, grab and drop objects and initiate finer motor function like touching her thumb to each finger. OT also is helping with her left eye nerve damage. Her vision is getting clearer, tracking is much stronger and the dilation is beginning to subside. Depending on how this heals she may have some double vision along the way. Speech Therapy focuses on her mental function. She speaks clearly and with great insight. Her challenges are short term memory and recall and her attention span. These are all improving and she will be moving into reasoning and problem solving soon. To get an idea of where her head is, imagine being given a step by step puzzle. The steps are initially easy to follow, but halfway through you forget the goal of the puzzle. Towards the end things get fuzzy and you become fatigued - so much so that you struggle to complete the puzzle. Further, she often is unable to locate the correct word to describe or identify something. Her range of emotion and expressiveness exists and a great deal of Marilyn's personality is there, but she is "flatter" than that of a person without a brain injury. She constantly struggles with extreme fatigue adding to the challenge of all her therapies. This is the fog of a brain injury - periods of blissful, unworried happiness, bouts of frustration and confusion, and overwhelming tiredness.

Here is a summary of her injuries and medical prognosis. The fall she took basically shook and twisted her brain inside her skull. The front of her brain which stores all her knowledge sustained little damage. The mid portion or relay portion of her brain did sustain significant damage. The "long wire" connections challenge her speech and memory pathways. The relay connections challenge her left side. The left eye is a symptom of nerve damage. It will resolve in three phases: the eyelid will stop being droopy, the eye will track correctly, and finally the dilation will subside. The other major thing that happened in the fall were fractures of the C2 and C7. These caused dissections or kinks of the right vertebral artery. This area had the potential to be a devastating injury and in her doctor's words it is somewhat of a miracle that it wasn't. I couldn't agree more. To treat this injury she has been on a course of various blood thinners to avoid clots and seizures. This has been an apparently tricky area for her doctors but they appear to have things resolved. Long term treatment will be to cut out the blood thinning drugs, switch to a baby aspirin per day and then even drop that. She will need to wear a C-collar until early January.

Finally, speaking of dates. Marilyn's discharge date will be January 18. This is by no means set in stone and I suspect Marilyn will trump this date, but there is also no reason to short her the OUTSTANDING therapy offered here at Craig. Their goal is to have her WALK out of the hospital physically and mentally prepared for a return to life in the real world. Following her return home, she will need 3-4 months of outpatient therapy to further her healing. It will likely be even longer until she can work again but, I fully expect the Marilyn we all knew back 110%. That eclipses the headache of any medical bill. It's all just a matter of time.

Starting to Remember

2007-11-11T10:45:00.000-07:00

Beginning with our visit from Steve, Alicia, Melissa and Sarah, Marilyn is remembering the recent past. This is a very good sign, because it means the fog is beginning to clear. We both wish things would go faster, but we also know we have to be patient and work hard together. We both just had big smiles reading your comments following Marilyn's post. Today we'll spend some time outside and watching the Bronco game. Hopefully they can win one.

Cutler - 27 Chiefs - 11

Marilyn's First Post

2007-11-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

Hi all -

I am about to dictate Marilyn's first blog post.

Gareth

Hi everyone! Thank you for checking on me. My brain isn't quite working yet. I'll keep you posted. Gotta go. I'm tired.

Love,
Marilyn

In a week's time..

2007-11-02T22:34:00.001-06:00

An extraordinary week has gone by. Last Friday, the 26th of October Marilyn was finally well enough to begin eating pureed food with assistance. Today we sat at a table and she ate regular food next to me on her own, no assistance. Last Friday she would generally only speak if someone called on the phone or if a nurse or therapist made her angry. Verbalization in itself, was clearly a struggle for her. Today she spoke most of the day asking questions about her injury and weakness on the left, telling us about her confusion, answering questions for each therapist. In short, coming back to life. We are excited to be at Craig Hospital- and not a day too late, given her progress this week. It is a very special place with a strong aura that immediately lets you know that good things happen here. She will excel here.

Tuesday October 30

2007-10-30T10:09:00.000-06:00

Things are continuing to progress well. The main thing that strikes me, is how many steps that I didn't even think about being there, that are there. All the basic things we take for granted in our daily life are huge challenges for Marilyn to overcome. When we break a bone we stabilize it and wait for it to heal, but a traumatic head injury requires healing and so much work on the part of the individual. All this makes the road home seem very long but each day I see Marilyn getting better is one day closer.

Thursday October 25

2007-10-25T15:09:00.000-06:00

Marilyn is in the first stages of gaining some speech and some movement on her left side. These are great signs as we continue down the long road ahead. Thanks to everyone for everything that has given us the STRENGTH to move through these first 3 weeks.

Monday 10/22 - Turning a Corner

2007-10-22T09:25:00.000-06:00

Over the weekend Marilyn has woken up. She is now awake at least 80% of the day and very aware of her surroundings and the people around her. So - I think I can officially say we have turned a corner! That makes this week especially big with lots of evaluation by rehab and neuro docs to figure out what is going on with speech and especially with her left side. She and I will be working hard. Keep sending the energy, we are on the way...

Friday 10/19 update

2007-10-19T12:20:00.001-06:00

Our first week at Kindred is drawing to an end. I've gained a good perspective on what we face in weeks and months to come. First, there really isn't a dramatic "wake-up" from an injury like this. Progress is incremental, often subtle and slow. Challenges are maintaining Marilyn's health while getting her plenty of rehab therapy. I am comfortable that is happening here, although I am sure I've been a bit of a pain in the neck to the caregivers.

Overall - she is trying to break through. Good signs include: chewing and swallowing ice, yawning, holding a brush and taking it to her hair, holding a toothbrush and taking it to her mouth, tossing a ball at me, snapping her fingers, spending part of each day in a special chair and even going outside, trying to speak on the phone, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue so I could brush her teeth, turning on the TV with the remote and changing channels and more. I hope for more wake up time, speaking and revival of her left side in time.

I've found some good sources for understanding what is going on with Marilyn that I will share with you. First the Rancho Los Amigos scale lines out the general stages of brain injury recovery: http://www.rancho.org/patient_education/bi_cognition.pdf. Also the Craig Hospital website (Marilyn's next stop) provides many educational resources here. http://www.craighospital.org/TBI/HealthandWellness.asp

Slowly but surely

2007-10-15T18:50:00.000-06:00

Just a quick note to let everyone know that Marilyn is showing sign after sign of her strength. Her waking periods are more and more lucid and active and I am confident that she absolutely knows who is around her and where she is. She has begun regular therapy too. Our goal this week is to establish a routine, both for her and myself. It is easy to get impatient and wish that she would fully wake up and start speaking - but it is a slow process. She is trying so hard to break through and I believe that she is going to blow us all away..

Also - I want everyone to know that Marilyn and I hear your collective voices. For different reasons, we can't always respond, but your energy is felt. Thank you, it means so much.

Gareth

Looking back and moving forward

2007-10-14T10:18:00.000-06:00

words and photos by Bill Hatcher
Hi All, When I went to visit Marilyn and Gareth last week at University hospital I made some photos. These photos are from the first days in the ICU. Marilyn's room was decorated with many photos including her high school graduating class and her adventures with Gareth as well as her life and travels with her adorable dogs from Vanderbilt to Colorado.

When Marilyn first opened her eyes Gareth was at her side and she was surrounded by family and friends. But there was much work to be done to help Marilyn and to deal with the myriad of details of Marilyn and Gareths new world.
A communications post was set up just outside the ICU to field calls, meet with visitors as well as to begin this blog.

We kept busy contacting Marilyn's friends, Marilyn's Mom and Dad, who were at Marilyn's side through all of this, were a great help in contacting friends from Marilyn's high school and college days. We also received many calls from friends and family. Gareth, when he was not at Marilyns side, was on the phone. In the first few days there were hundreds of calls made and received. Gareth often had to make calls from the hallway since reception inside the ICU was poor.

The first few days in the ICU were so stressful as Marilyn's condition was being assessed. Each hour in the ICU would bring new news from the excellent team of doctors and nurses working with Marilyn. I watched as friends and family talked to Marilyn. When she had the strength she seemed to try and comfort them with a smile or hand movement. My three days in the ICU went by so fast it seems a blur.

Marilyn is now out of the ICU and in rehab. Her injuries are healing and her progress is positive. She is taking strong steps toward fully waking up. Her recovery will require time and plenty of love and care from her friends. Thank you all who have visited Marilyn and have reached out to help Marilyn. That kind of love has no measure in the degree it helps Marilyn in her recovery.

Bill

About Marilyn

2007-10-13T09:15:00.001-06:00

I thought I'd add a post that tells all about Marilyn - the extraordinary person that we all want back with us. So this is a little story of who Marilyn is - please add your own on this post.

I met Marilyn about 7 years ago when she moved to Dolores. She moved there to work for Indian Health Services at the Shiprock Hospital as a Nurse Practitioner. Marilyn has a passion for cardiology and she eventually spent two years in Chinle, AZ working on a cardiology study on the Navajo. She graduated from Vanderbilt - a fact that she is very proud of, a truly academic background. In the realm of family practice she worked for Valley Wide Health in Durango and Mancos and now works at our own Dolores Medical Center. The thing that has always struck me about her is her diligence in really taking great care of people. She analyzes and thinks through every diagnosis - never making assumptions. She uses her knowledge and seeks additional knowledge to do her very best for people every day.

A Nurse Practitioner is an advanced care giver. Marilyn has the knowledge and legal authority to make referalls, prescribe medication - in short make most of the decisions a doctor would with the advantage of being able to spend time with each patient. So that's the work skill side of Marilyn.

I won't wax poetic here about our nearly 4 years together, how wonderful she is (she is) etc. Suffice it to say that Marilyn has stood by me strongly and consistently. We're going to bring her back 100%. I'm excited to read your stories and impressions of Marilyn. I'll keep reading all the posts on this blog to her too.

Signs

2007-10-12T20:05:00.000-06:00

This afternoon and early evening Marilyn woke up a few times. This evening, she gave us two big signs. First, the nurse asked if she was in pain. Marilyn shook her head , no. Then we gave her a pen and a pad (right hand, Marilyn is left handed) and asked her to write her name. She scribbled for a moment and then clearly wrote an "M".

We've moved..

2007-10-12T16:04:00.000-06:00

Today we moved to Kindred Hospital..note address at right. Marilyn is comfortable, well cared for and okay. She has not woken up but when she opens her eye (left eye doesn't open well right now) she tracks, looks at what we show her and seems to understand. More later...

Left Side

2007-10-11T06:56:00.001-06:00

One area of recovery that I am getting some conflicting info on is how much Marilyn's left side will recover. Currently she can feel on that side but her ability to move is very minimal. This is all associated with the brain stem bruising. OT and PT will tell more in weeks to come, but please send your energy to her LEFT SIDE.

Wednesday October 10th

2007-10-10T21:19:00.001-06:00

Marilyn has been moved from ICU to a regular room in the neurology wing of the hospital - note the address update at right. She is still not awake, but her track is generally upward. She also has been accepted at Craig Rehabilitation Hospital, which happens to be one, if not the best hospital of this type in the country. As the waiting list is long, we will likely be moving in the interim to a rehab hospital called Kindred Hospital which shares doctors with Craig...Much more on this to come as lots is still up in the air..

Tuesday October 9 update

2007-10-09T21:45:00.000-06:00

On the right I have added our family and friends who have been by our side and visiting since our arrival in Denver. Thanks to them, Marilyn has not been on her own at anytime - always someone by her side. The list is ever growing, bringing Marilyn strength and healing each day.

Marilyn has not woken up but she remains responsive to the various stimuli around her. The hospital already has OT's , PT's, and Speech Pathologists working with her and she has done quite well, although she seems very tired at times. We hope to be moved to a main room and out of the Neuro ICU tomorrow, which will be great. I am here every day and every night with her - her parents, my parents and our friends have helped me so much in being able to step out for fresh air, make phone calls - just deal with all the stuff this situation has presented.

Our focus now needs to be on her waking up. Please send her the thought.. Wake up, Marilyn, wake up.

Gareth

Marilyn Update From Sunday 10/7

2007-10-08T22:47:00.000-06:00

Hello all -

Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. Here is an update on Marilyn. Her condition remains stable. Today she was able to keep her right eye open and tracking us as we talked to her. She even smiles a couple of times. She still remains unconcious though and has yet to approach anything that one would consider "awake". Today the doctor told us that for the most part, her injuries will heal. The most significant injury is that of the brainstem which has caused her left eye to dilate and not respond and her left side to not be very active. She will need a lot of rehab and this is the most questionable area - we can only hope that it comes back. Further injuries were found - two skull fractures and another minor fracture on her C7. Important that the C2 and C7 fracutres are non-displaced - no spinal injury. This is also the first time that we were given any type of time frame as to what we are facing - 6 months to 1 year for recovery. So - we're going to be here in Denver for a while - my best guess is a month or two, just really hard to say until she wakes up. But we will come home. We will come home. For those of you that are coming up this way - Marilyn and I can't wait to see you. Thank you we love you,

Gareth and Marilyn

2007-10-08T18:04:00.000-06:00

Hi friends,

We have established this blog to keep you up-dated on Marilyn's recovery. This will make it easier for Gareth to keep you informed and still give Marilyn his full attention. THIS BLOG WILL BE UPDATED DAILY TO LET YOU KNOW HOW MARILYN IS PROGRESSING.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION: This email was sent out by Gareth on Saturday, October 6:

By now you have heard the terrible news about Marilyn. On Wednesday, October 3rd we were riding beater bikes down into the village of Vlicabamba, Ecuador when the brakes on Marilyn’s bike gave way on a downhill. She was unable to slow down the bike hit a dirt burm and was ejected nearly 30 feet into the air. It was a horrific and unexpected accident. We were expecting to have a quiet, relaxed day. With significant difficulty we were able to evac via air ambulance and she is now a patient at the Neuro Intensive care Unit at the University of Colorado hospital, Denver.

Her injuries and condition are as follows. She remains unconscious but responsive to touch and voice. She suffered a closed head injury – difuse axonal injury – small injuries on different parts of her brain. In addition she has bruising on the left upper portion of her brain and in the brain stem which has caused her left eye to be dilated and unresponsive. She has good motion on the right side of her body and poor motion on the left. Her prognosis at this time is unknown – the recovery will be very slow. We do not know if she will be able to return to her work as a nurse practitioner.

The experience has been mentally draining and has left us on precarious financial footing. The air evac ($60,000) was not coverd by insurance and has placed a significant financial burden on us. While Marilyn is in recovery I will need to take over her financial obligations. We will be establishing a charitable account in Marilyn's name to help defray these expenses. For now, I want to let you all know how much I appreciate your thoughts and love – please keep sending them. I will talk to each of you in days to come – for now reliving the experience with one person at a time is just too much. Please forward this to anyone who loves Marilyn that I probably have missed – not thinking fully clearly at the moment.

Marilyn Cieszykowski's Page

Backpacking Again!

Pikes Peak Challenge

Determination

A False Summit

Prayer Flag

A Life Prayer

Pikes Peak Challenge

Living after you Die

I Am

Long Time, No Blog

Healing and Hanging in the Desert...

You can talk to Buddha and listen to his casual reply

Ignorance is Bliss

How is She Doing?

"...Your Own Reason and Your Own Common Sense."

Life at Home

"If you`re going through hell, keep going"

To Begin Again

Homeward Bound!

OUTPATIENT POSITIVITY

Craig Hospital discharge

Brain Therapy

Collar Free

2008

Pieces of Memory

Vision

Wisdom

Impatient Inpatient Twilight

Recommended Reading and Folding Clothes

Pictures from Ecuador

Psychologically Challenged

Alison's Post

Counting..

My Weekend

One month at Craig

Marilyn's update - 11/27/07

A Day at Craig

The BIG update

Starting to Remember

Marilyn's First Post

In a week's time..

Tuesday October 30

Thursday October 25

Monday 10/22 - Turning a Corner

Friday 10/19 update

Slowly but surely

Looking back and moving forward

About Marilyn

Signs

We've moved..

Left Side

Wednesday October 10th

Tuesday October 9 update

Marilyn Update From Sunday 10/7